Looking Back on Life

I think that I have a tendency to live life right now, and not think much about how my life used to be, or what experiences I’ve gone through. I guess I used to think that this was good thing—it helped me to stay in the moment, and not worry too much.

At the moment, I’m feeling frustrated with this tendency of mine. I just was looking at some of my old stuff that I’d brought home with me from my trip to WA for my mom’s birthday. And I starting thinking about times that I hadn’t thought about in quite a long time. I was looking at a notebook from my freshman year at college, which had an interesting variety of information. Stuff about money for school, trying to budget it all out so that I could make my payment. Careful notes of the responsibilities of a library worker. Various math formulas, notes about people to call about yardwork jobs.
It made me sad to realize that my conscious mind had forgotten all about these things, because they are with me now in some ways, even if they aren’t at the surface all the time. On the other hand, I’m not always sure that I liked who I was back then. I had a lot of enthusiasm, and a good connection to the Lord, but I was also lacking in maturity in a lot of ways. Not that that’s changed much. :-) More stuff relating this to the present in the my post…